If you are smart enough to interpret those letters then you should be laughing right about now. If you are not laughing at the letters or my opening statement then you need to read this article and hopefully by the end you can understand. I am completely serious.
GM finally went bankrupt and it seems that the world is shocked. I am not. I have seen firsthand the trash that works for GM and it was only a matter of time before that work force ran them into the ground. Fat, lazy and unproductive are all words I would use to describe the GM workforce as well as unintelligent, ignorant and hick. I might use those last three to describe their management teams as well. Don’t even get me started on the union. There are always exceptions to my insults, but obviously not enough to save GM’s sorry Arsch (that is Deutsche for rear, if you don’t know what Deutsche means you probably work for GM and need to keep reading).
Bizwhizkid.com is dedicated to helping young entrepreneurs. Therefore all you young entrepreneurs need to get out a pen and pad so that you don’t end up like GM. I am going to give you the three most obvious ways to avoid bankruptcy and run a successful company. It isn’t rocket science but I am guessing that a mass influx of GM workers are going to be needing a job soon and if they, by some miracle, decide to start their own company then they are going to need this advice.
The first obvious way to avoid bankruptcy and run a successful company is to hire workers that are educated, disciplined and healthy. Everybody hates the fat kid for a reason. He/she is fat and lazy and the skinny kid knows instinctively that he will be that way his whole life which means that the skinny kid must subsidize the fat kid for his whole life. The negative externality of obesity is obvious from a young age but GM just couldn’t seem to catch the concept. Allow me to lay it out. Fat people are not productive and productivity equals profitability which means unproductivity equals loss. It is easy as pie. I understand some medical conditions for being obese, but for the most part obesity shows a lack of discipline, which is never good for your company, just ask GM. Education is a non-dependent variable in this equation. Just make sure that when you hire a worker that they are not complete morons or you might end up with losses. That is a no brainer, no pun intended.
The second obvious way to avoid bankruptcy and run a successful company is to make sure that each worker you hire has the opportunity to be productive and take an active role in your establishment. Have you heard the stories of GM workers being paid to sleep all day or just sit in a room? I know I have and that is why I wrote this article. I wonder why they went bankrupt? Your worker’s wage depends on how productive he or she is during a day. If he/she makes you 20 dollars an hour then you should pay him/her probably about 15 dollars an hour. Labor is capital just like inventory, land and money. It only makes sense that you would make a profit on your workers. Just make sure that Karl Marx does not catch you.
Finally, the third obvious way to avoid bankruptcy and run a successful company is to never fear the thought of firing workers. If a worker is hurting you then you should hurt them. Business is not about favors, it is about service. In business we serve each other through millions of different ways. If your workers are sleeping all day on the job and acting like Arschloch’s (take a guess at what that means in Deutsche) then you probably need to rethink your workforce. Duh. Use your head and you should be fine, but don’t ever forget the idiocy that anchored down GM.
Peace,
Garrett Mostowski
P.S. if you are a GM worker and this pissed you off, please don’t leave a nasty comment. Instead, just walk to your mailbox and pick up your unemployment check and then write me a thank you letter for spotting you some cash while you are out of work.
